What can I say?

Several things have been happenning recently.

My belly is growing as my pregnancy advances. The good news is that my stomach is beginning to settle and I am eating normally again. I still get nauseous sometimes, though, especially when I smell men. I don't know what causes it and the doctor said it's "just hormones" Yeah, I guess they are hormones, but I can't stand Erik's laundry, even when it's clean!

The other day I went to the store and this man gets behind me and he was wearing some type of cologne or lotion or something, but it made me gag. Ugh! my nose is so sensitive right now that I can smell the neighbors from my house, and it seems like everything stinks!

My patience os also running thin these days. Poor John gets the brunt of it, but he takes it in stride... I'm so glad he's with me! Even though sometimes I feel like killing him...

The one worrying me to no end right now is Erik. Somehow, in his little head he thinks that he and Jennifer can be together, and the foolish woman encourages him! Jenny is my friend and all, but I think she is too old for him. She is looking for a long term, serious commitment (and has been looking for a while, if you know what I mean) but Erik is only a boy. He has never had a serious girlfriend in his life!

Well, John and I told him that we don't agree with his relationship, but that only encouraged him. He feels that if we oppose, it means that he has to fight for it or something, so we don't know what to do...

On Christmas Eve, Erik went out wiht Jennifer. Ever since John and I got married, we've had dinner together that night and we felt that something was missing because he was not home. He came back really late that night and then the next day he was out with her again.

To try to make sure we didn't miss him on New Year's Eve, I invited Jennifer to come too. Well, if they are going to be together, I'd rather have them where I can see them, Don't you think? Now, you wouldn't believe the dress she was wearing when they arrived. Hey, I am no prude, but her dress was cut so low that I thought she was going to spill out of it. I tried to tell her, but she is not the brightest star in the sky and she didn't get the hint. I was so mad at her for flaunting her stuff in front of my children that I think I may have lashed out at John without a reason.

We had dinner without major incidents and both Erik and Jennifer behaved well, but at the end, she asked about our goals for the New Year and I could not get the idea of Jennifer hurting Erik out of my mind. I feel like the mother tiger when someone threathens her cubs. So, I tried to make polite conversation, but it kind of failed...

The problem is that now I hurt the feelings of both my good friend Jennifer and my stepson. Both are mad at me and I don't blame them, but it gets me down. Now that John sick leave is over and the boys went back to school, the house is so lonely, and without my old friend Jenny to share, it's even worse. Just now I was making a nice dinner and John called me to tell me that he has overtime and cannot make it. Erik had called earlier to tell me that he was going to do some homework with his friend Mario and later he was going to have dinner with Jenny.

Javier is enjoying the meal alone, because I;m not hungry anymore.

I guess I'll just have to be patient and tolerant. I hope Jennifer doesn't hurt Erik, because if she does, I'm going to have to do something about it. At least I have John. He's the only one who makes me feel secure right now.

I hope next time I write I'll have better news.