About to explode...

I'm already getting tired of being pregnant...

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally in the mothering mood, but this pregnancy seems to last forever! I know it's not the case, but it certainly feels like I have been pregnant more time than it is supposed to. If this keeps going, my baby is just going to literally walk out.

Man, I feel like my belly is so big that it may hit the floor...

The thing is that I can't wait for this part to be over. This is my first baby (you do know Erik and Javier are not mine, right?) and I feel like I already want to hold her. My mother says that as soon as the baby comes out I will be wishing that it could have stayed in, but I seriously doubt it... Come on! I can barely move as it is! How am I expected to sleep? I have never been one to sleep face down, and now I can't sleep sideways and I can't sleep face up. I get more and more tired as time goes by and now my ankles and my hips are starting to show signs of wear and tear. The doctor says that's normal, though.

John also says that I walk funny... Yeah, right. I'd like to see HIM carry the baby in a bag of water all day and all night. I'm sure by the end of the first trimester he would be crying for mercy. Stronger sex? Yeah right. It reminds me of the time when he was feeling that chest pain and didn't want to go to the doctor. All they did was a little study and he was such a cry baby...

Anyway, now that I'm talking about John, remember when he found out I was pregnant? Oh, boy, He was in such a shock that it worried me. He's been doing much better lately, but I try not to scare him too much over my pregnancy.

So, now my thoughts are on how to name the baby... I'm checking a list of girl baby names and can't make up my mind. I'd better give this matter some more thought...

I hope the next time I write here my baby girl will be born, will be healthy and I'll have gotten some rest.

 See you later ;-)

.

Some things are better left unsaid.

Sometimes things have a way of changing on us overnight.

The last time I wrote on this journal I was talking about how I felt lonely, but that my husband was my support. I also mentioned how he had a lot of work and could not come home for dinner.

Well, it turns out that while he was at the office, there was this woman, Maria Something, that was being inappropriate by basically offering herself up to him. Now, I know that John didn't do anything to encourage her, but he didn't tell me and that got me really upset. The way I found out was that john was having nightmares and in one of those he actually screamed her name.

I was so mad!

You know, being pregnant and all has been a little rough on me and my feelings are more intense than usual. I was grilling my poor John even though none of this was his fault and he got so nervous that he called me Maria... Oh, boy... He tried to fix it, but by then I was ready to bite someones head off, and he was the closest victim.

However, after yelling at him a little, I calmed down and the next morning I was ready to give the poor man a chance. I tried to be sweet and understanding and I made john promise me that whatever the %$#%$ woman said to him at the office, he was going to say no.

Well, to make the story short, she didn't want to stop and I decided to take matters into my own hands. I met with Maria and tried to have a civil conversation, but I may have overdone it a little. I don't remember all the details, but let's just say that I hurt my hand and leave the rest to your imagination...

I think this Maria woman won't be getting anywhere near John in the near future.

See you later :-)

What can I say?

Several things have been happenning recently.

My belly is growing as my pregnancy advances. The good news is that my stomach is beginning to settle and I am eating normally again. I still get nauseous sometimes, though, especially when I smell men. I don't know what causes it and the doctor said it's "just hormones" Yeah, I guess they are hormones, but I can't stand Erik's laundry, even when it's clean!

The other day I went to the store and this man gets behind me and he was wearing some type of cologne or lotion or something, but it made me gag. Ugh! my nose is so sensitive right now that I can smell the neighbors from my house, and it seems like everything stinks!

My patience os also running thin these days. Poor John gets the brunt of it, but he takes it in stride... I'm so glad he's with me! Even though sometimes I feel like killing him...

The one worrying me to no end right now is Erik. Somehow, in his little head he thinks that he and Jennifer can be together, and the foolish woman encourages him! Jenny is my friend and all, but I think she is too old for him. She is looking for a long term, serious commitment (and has been looking for a while, if you know what I mean) but Erik is only a boy. He has never had a serious girlfriend in his life!

Well, John and I told him that we don't agree with his relationship, but that only encouraged him. He feels that if we oppose, it means that he has to fight for it or something, so we don't know what to do...

On Christmas Eve, Erik went out wiht Jennifer. Ever since John and I got married, we've had dinner together that night and we felt that something was missing because he was not home. He came back really late that night and then the next day he was out with her again.

To try to make sure we didn't miss him on New Year's Eve, I invited Jennifer to come too. Well, if they are going to be together, I'd rather have them where I can see them, Don't you think? Now, you wouldn't believe the dress she was wearing when they arrived. Hey, I am no prude, but her dress was cut so low that I thought she was going to spill out of it. I tried to tell her, but she is not the brightest star in the sky and she didn't get the hint. I was so mad at her for flaunting her stuff in front of my children that I think I may have lashed out at John without a reason.

We had dinner without major incidents and both Erik and Jennifer behaved well, but at the end, she asked about our goals for the New Year and I could not get the idea of Jennifer hurting Erik out of my mind. I feel like the mother tiger when someone threathens her cubs. So, I tried to make polite conversation, but it kind of failed...

The problem is that now I hurt the feelings of both my good friend Jennifer and my stepson. Both are mad at me and I don't blame them, but it gets me down. Now that John sick leave is over and the boys went back to school, the house is so lonely, and without my old friend Jenny to share, it's even worse. Just now I was making a nice dinner and John called me to tell me that he has overtime and cannot make it. Erik had called earlier to tell me that he was going to do some homework with his friend Mario and later he was going to have dinner with Jenny.

Javier is enjoying the meal alone, because I;m not hungry anymore.

I guess I'll just have to be patient and tolerant. I hope Jennifer doesn't hurt Erik, because if she does, I'm going to have to do something about it. At least I have John. He's the only one who makes me feel secure right now.

I hope next time I write I'll have better news.

What am I going to do?

I cried today...

Yes. It's been a long time since I really cried, but today I had to. I don't know what to do. It seems like I am going to have a baby and that't the reason i have been feeling weird recently. Somehow I forgot to take the pill and now I don't know how to face John with the news.

You see? John thinks that two kids is enough. His experiences with children, with his wife leaving him and all, have not been that great, and he thinks that he is too old to be having children now. "One of these days," he says "I'm going to be a grandpa. This is not time to be raising a baby!"

I can see his point, but I have never been married before and I have always dreamed that I would be a mom. Oh, I'm going to start crying again! I bought a Home Pregnancy Kit, which is the best and most accurate test and it yielded positive.

Anyway, I tried to bring the subject up by mentioning my cousin Martha, who is pregnant with her fourth child and John said that... Anyway. I don't want to remember. This is bad...

This is really bad.

What can I do? How can I tell him? It is not like I'll be able to do this alone without him noticing... Soon he will begin to see the signs, and if I have not told him yet, he will be furious. I have to tell him, but I'm afraid he will reject me when I do, and at this sensitive time, I don't know if I'd be able to withstand his rejection.

Oh, my... I wish I were crying because he called me fat...

No Way!!!

This can't be!

I have been feeling sick and all, but whan I called the Midtoon Health Hot-Line, they asked me question and thyen suggested that I could be pregnant. Imagine that! I was, of course laughing, even though I was feeling terrible, because I swore that I was taking my faithful Cycle of Life(TM) pills every single day, but then I checked and it was not funny.

No, It was not funny at all.

Apparently somehow I managed to 'forget' my pills and now I'm really scared. I know John does not want to have anymore children, but he knows I want to, so he's surely going to blame me for forgetting intentionally.

Well, it is too early to know, so I will have to wait until I can get a test done before I start worrying about that...

Who am I kidding? I am worrying already! I am a worrier. That's what I do. Oh, God! I want to cry! This is not even funny!

All right, Mabel, calm down. It can't be that bad. Probably you are not pregnant at all, and if you are, perhaps John will be okay with it. And if he's not, maybe he'll grow softer, and if not... Gaaaaaah! I can't think about this right now. I'll get a pregnancy test as soon as possible.

I hope this is a false alarm!

How embarrassing!

I would like to be an ostrich and hide my head on the dirt to avoid the world.

What can I say? I convinced John (my husband) to call the police because I was SURE that there was a murderer across the street. Well, guess what? The police responded to the call and after searching the apartments, they found the murderer, but it was not the person I was accusing.

You see, there was this guy that hit on me the day I got my new style and it seems that he just moved to the empty apartment downstairs (under Jennifer's). So, I was watching the news on channel 5 and they were talking about this murderer, "Sweet Tongue" Smithson, so I wanted to close the window but when I was there, I saw the same guy as before.

I totally panicked and thought that if he was there that must have meant that he was the killer, so I convinced John to call the cops on him and they came. I don't know how, but they searched the building and found that the real murderer was hiding there and they captured him.

Now the most embarrassing thing is that Channel 5 News came to cover the capture and they interviewed John as if he was a hero for saving the community! The other guy, the one that I was accusing (his name is Fred, by the way, Jennifer told me) was there all happy and without a clue that I had called the police on him.

I feel so guilty... I don't know what to do.

Perhaps I'll bake him a cake or something. Yes, That's what I'll do. I better get to work right now.

I'll write later about what happens.

I think a serial killer is across the street!

Oh my!

I have not written in several days, but that doesn't mean that nothing has happenned. I am currently under a lor of stress, because just when I was thinking that john was getting better, I heard in the news that a dangerous fugitive had been spotted near Midtoon.

When I heard that the man is known for raping and murdering young blonde females, I was scared, so I went to close the window and there he was! He was across the street just talking to the owner of the apartments, as if he wasn't even worried that the police may see him.

I've heard that he stalks his victims for quite a while before attacking them, so it seems clear that he is after me! Oh, come on, I am the only blonde female on this street! And of course, I'm young!

I wanted to call 911 right away, but was paralyzed by fear when I saw him walking with a dark rectangular object (I think it was a rifle case) and Jennifer opened a door for him and then went inside with him! Yeah, yeah, I know she's not blonde, but what if she witnesses something suspicious? I know the killer won't hesitate to get rid of her as well...

Then I ran to tell John, but at first he didn't believe me. They said in the Newspaper that several people have called the police with false alarms, so he It all changed when I told him that the killer had asked me to go out with him already.

Now John called 911 and they dispatched police officers to the scene.

I am hiding in Erik's room and looking out with his telescope.

For heaven's sake, I hope they catch him quickly, before he hurts Jennifer.

What to do...

John is home now.

The doctor said that his heart is in godo condiiotn, but that he should keep a close eye on it. Apparently the cause of his symptoms was stress. I know he has stress at work, poor baby! His job is very demanding, because when everything is going fine, his boss makes himfind things that could go wrong, so John spands his time solving crises or preventing them. It is definitely a negative position.

John was thinking before of quitting his job and opening a private law practice, but with the current economic climate, he feels that it is not the right time. I agree. He really does not need another cause of stress right now, especially because I don't have a job and his income supports the family.

That brings me to my next goal. I am thinking of finding a job. The reason I stayed home is that Javier was very unstable, but he seems to be doing much better, regardless of the few times he did not take his medication. I have not been called from schoool for a while, so I think that when classes resume, I can do something.

I am not sure what to do. I am thinking perhaps to get a job right now, but since I have not finished my college degree, my prospects are not that great. I have some experience in retail, and office work, but not that much. Another thing I can do is go back to school to finish my degree. I have two and a half years already of Biology, so it should be completed in a year and a half, if I go at it full-time.

I think I should do something with my life, because I don't want my husband to feel thyat he has to remain trapped into a dead-end job. I want to be able to help, so if he feels like quitting and going private, the family can be sustained during the transition.

I have to think about it...

The Doctor's Diagnostic

Today I went to the Hospital to pick up John after a series of tests to find out what was wrong with his heart. I had to leave the keys with Jennifer, so the boys could get them when they came back.

Erik was "hanging out" with some friends at the Midtoon Plaza and Javier was at a barbecue in a friend's birthday party.

Anyway, I went to the hospital and saw John in a wheelchair, looking as if he was in pain. He was also a little upset because they had told him that the test was not going to hurt and apparently forgot to tell him that after the test he was going to be sore. The reason John was in a wheelchair was hospital rules, but as soon as we went downstairs he stood up and walked out with me.

The doctor said that there were no major issues with his heart at the moment, but that he has to be careful. He told john to eat less fatty foods and less sodium and to become a little more active. For the next two weeks, though, he has to rest, so he gave him a note to be excused from work. They are going to be monitoring his blood pressure carefully as well. I'm sure John is not very excited about dieting, since he loves fatty and salty stuff. I think it is a common thing for people from the tropics to eat these foods.

Apparently the stress of work is part of the problem (in addition to all the fatty foods and the lack of activity)

Well, I'll be watching over him a little more, because he only has one heart and I want it to last for a long time.

Luckily, they caught the problem before it becomes serious.

Worried for my husband...

I am worried for John.

For the last few days he has been feeling some chest pains and he doesn't want to go to the doctor. He is afraid that they are going to examine him in a painful or uncomfortable way. If he only had to go through half of what I have to go through when I visit my ob/gyn, he wouldn't be such a whiner.

I hope is nothing though, because with all the worries we have with Javier, the least thing we need right now is John getting sick.

I think I have him convinced and he will go this time.

If you have any ideas as to how to convince him, let me know by commenting on this post.

Thanks,

LINK TO RELATED STRIP: http://www.midtoon.com/011601.htm